He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
