Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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