I have demons in me.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
