so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
