i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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