i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
