Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You ruined the universe
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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