And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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