Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
