I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
