I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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