i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
