Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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