Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
