The maid of honor just puked.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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