He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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