You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
