when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
