i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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