She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There r osticjed everywhere
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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