Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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