11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
