Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
