I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
