it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
