Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
