I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
