Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
