i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
