I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
