Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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