i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
