I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
