Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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