Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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