I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
