you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
