I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
