just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
