I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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