What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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