Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
