carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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