So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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