I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
