the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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