Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Randomize
