I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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