do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
