windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
